blehx...wth is wrong with the world or rather wtfh is wrong with me...im vulgar...im so like experiencing pms now...dunnoe' i feel like im slowly losin' my marbles...losing my sanity every second...i flare up really easily...i don't know..maybe it's a lack of sleep..can't rmb when was the last farkin' time i slept...geeze...seems so long ago...and pls pardon me for my regularly injected profanities...don't know what's wrong with me...im going to clse dis blog soon...i really don't want people like my bloody nosy cousins poking their farkin' noses and meddle with my affairs...im spoilt...dat i will nrt deny. today, went to visit mom, i just felf life is so god damn unfair...i don't see the reason where people actually have wonderful beautiful complete families and i have to be torn apart in such a way...if there really is a god...why is he doing this to me...i feel like an overstretched rubberband on the verge of snapping...i don't want to have two homes anymore...but wait do i even have a home...im only leaving in a house..where all my material whims are satisfied...sad to say i can't seem to like my family...let alone love em'...im so distraught...i feel like throwing myself of the building ...dat' would be the best thing i will ever do to contribute to the good of mankind...making the world a better place...im so disgusting, evil, my cousin avoids me as she says i remind her of carcinoma...really sucidal...dat's totally how im feeling rite now...all i long for now is to sleep...i need to sleep...everytime i blog i would think why the farkin' heck am i wasting my time toking to a bloody spastic retarded com....everyone is sleeping...me...all i wanna do is to be alone...to be isolated from everyone...like quarantine....like a hermit...to live in solitude...i just wonder why am i such a bitter person and who can actually shine the good into me ...i doubt anyone wld be capable of dat...i swear when i grow up and i have the money...i'll get my mom out of the farkin' place...she deserves better...i feel so fake...so superficial....on the outside im like always smiling...but u will never know what im tinking of ....anyways..went to eastpoint today...went to jack 's place for lunch and i went to sembawang to buy a CD...yeah a CD...another one...i don't know...im such a squander*is dere' such a word?*...perhaps...i really shld die...there's hike tml...fought with my dad again...the camera is mine...so why is fobading me to bring it for the hike...he says i'll lose it or i'll drop it and it shall nvr see the daylights again...what utter complete nonsensical rubbish...i am responsible for my own belongings and i know i will take care of em'...so people just shut the fuck up kaes....i don't know ....trying to reach out for help...i desperately need some...i need to go for counselling...i don't know...to prevent me from growing into a wicked